Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – Review & Discussion

What the Book Is and a Ramble-y Story

If you haven’t heard already, at midnight on Harry Potter’s birthday the script-book edition of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was released. And if you haven’t heard already, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is the eighth Harry Potter story, told in the form of a play that you can actually see if you’re super lucky and live in London, or that you can read in the form of this book.
Also, do you have to pay property tax on that rock you live under?
I personally didn’t go to a midnight release party for it because I’m a fake fan. But seriously, my sister’s graduation party was that night and I was exhausted. Also – and I don’t know if this is TMI – but I’m literally so sunburned. All of my skin is falling off and I didn’t want people thinking that I was cosplaying as a molting basilisk.
I had to go to the DMV the following day to get my temporary driver’s license (which isn’t really good for anything but WOOOOO) and I figured I would be super bored waiting so my mom and I ran to Barnes and Noble and – not too surprisingly but completely disappointingly – they were completely sold out.
In a panic, we went to Target, wondering, might they have a copy left after all this time?

hp target

Always. 
Target did a thing where you got a free poster with the purchase of the book so that was pretty cool even though the poster wasn’t anything too amazing. The cashier was really friendly and talked about how he felt like a fake fan because he didn’t even realize it was coming out until he was stocking the shelves. He still gave me a funny look when he asked me if I wanted it in a bag and I almost yelled, “No!” and grabbed it.
Watching people put hardcover books in those plastic bags stressed me out so much. You are literally begging the universe to rip the dust-jacket.
But I digress, it was a good day overall.

happy nerd

Spoiler-Free Review

**because this is a play, the plot moves very fast and it will be hard to review this without revealing any details. If you haven’t read the book yet and want to go into it blind, stop here.**
So the basic premise of this book is that it picks up from the epilogue in Deathly Hallows where the grown up squad of Hermione, Ron, and Harry are seeing off their children at King’s Cross. The main focus in this story is on Albus Severus Potter, who is having a hard time feeling like he fits into his family or anywhere. This leads him to make some extremely poor decisions and almost ruin the entire world.
First of all, let’s talk about the characters. Scorpius Malfoy is my spirit animal, obviously. He’s just an adorable little nerd trying to get through life and be brave while simultaneously being afraid of everything. Rose Granger was also fantastic, just a really funny, strong character. She reminded me so much of Hermione without the authors blatantly trying to make them the exact same person.
Albus kind of annoyed me. He did sort of remind me of Harry though. He just really wanted to do what he thought was the right thing, but didn’t always think it through very well. I’ll get more into that with the spoilers.
As for the plot, it made sense if you didn’t think about it. I don’t necessarily mean that in a super negative way, it’s just true. It was fast-paced and entertaining and I’m sure that’s part of the reason why it translates so well onto the stage. However, if you pause and think about the actual logistics of some of the magic and time-travel, it’ll make your head hurt.
In some ways, the plot also seemed a little cliché and predictable to me. The whole “tiny change in the past creates crazy ripples in the universe” element was well done but nothing new. However, the different alternatives that we get to see poses some very interesting “what-ifs” and allows more old characters that we’ve missed to be incorporated into the story.
And speaking of old characters… let’s talk about Harry, Ron and Hermione. They’ll always be some of my favorite characters of all time. How could they not be? I was excited to see how their personalities would stay the same and change as they got older.
Here’s the issue: You know how Maxon and America were all grown up in The Heir and The Crown? And like, it was them, but it wasn’t? Like they were older, but it seemed like their characters just served the purpose of being some parents, and even though they were well-developed as parents, they didn’t seem like the well-developed younger characters, just grown up? It’s like they were completely different people with the same names, and some of the old trademark qualities being extremely forced as if they’re screaming through their beaming, remembered faces, “Look! It’s us! I promise!”
If you haven’t read the Selection and didn’t really get that comparison, I was also reminded of one of my favorite songs at the moment, called “Next Year” by Two Door Cinema Club. It had a line that goes:

Maybe someday,
You’ll be somewhere,
Talking to me,
As if you knew me

I know it sounds dramatic, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that line. They really just didn’t seem like the same characters at all. And I know that they’re grown up and I know that they’re not going to be completely the same, but the entire time it felt like these characters were talking, trying to become people that they just aren’t anymore. Like those characters were really new, more boring characters Polyjuice-potioned into being Harry, Ron and Hermione. Impostors. Impastas.

noodle harry.jpg

As for the formatting, I didn’t really mind it being a play. I’m sure that some of the issues with things not being very well-explained could’ve been fixed if it was a full narrative, but that was really my only issue with it. I found it interesting – as I was reading, I pictured everything on a stage. Did that happen to anyone else? It was weird, but not unpleasant.
The stage directions/descriptions were really amazing, too. I had to slow down a lot when I was reading to make sure that I was really reading and appreciating everything, because there were some beautiful little gems in there. My favorite was this one:

There’s a silence.
A perfect, profound silence.
One that sits low, twists a bit, and has damaged within it. 

First Line: A busy and crowded station.
Pages: 308
Hooked by page: 1
Rating: 3.5 stars
Recommend for: Harry Potter fans. I can’t say it felt like a completely genuine Harry Potter story, but it was great to have new Hogwarts adventures.

Goodreads          Barnes and Noble          Amazon         IndieBound

Spoiler-y Discussion

pretty harry

First of all, can we talk about how beautiful this book is? People were going to buy it no matter what, but I’m grateful that Scholastic took the time to make it look nice and all high-quality. The binding, man. It’s got that stripe-y stuff going on – that’s when you know it’s well made.
On to the discussion – where to begin? I liked seeing where the characters ended up. Hermione was the Minister of Magic, which was awesome in a way but also kind of forced, I felt like. Hermione is smart and strong, so let’s make her the leader of the Wizarding World, of course! Ron is funny, so let’s have him own a joke shop! (Also, why was Ron running Fred and George’s joke shop? What happened to George?) It felt like they were taking the easy way out.
And speaking of taking the easy way out, some things were just oh-so convenient. Delphi just so happened to have Polyjuice potion, which normally takes, like, a month to brew – lying around? And they just happened to have some sort of DNA from Harry, Ron and Hermione?
Whatever. Moving on.
I thought the idea of Amos wanting someone to go back and save Cedric was a solid basis for the plot. It was exciting enough because it would involve evil by facing Voldemort in the past without introducing an entirely new force of evil. But like, if you’re going to bother going back in time to save a life, why not just go big and go all the way back to when Voldemort was a baby and kill him then?
Goblet of Fire has always been one of my absolute favorite Harry Potter books (although, aren’t they all?) so when the plot involved a lot of time-traveling back to that time I was pretty excited. But as soon as they mentioned time-traveling, I just knew something was going to go horribly wrong. Time is just so weird and nothing about it makes sense when you start going backwards.
Initially, when they started messing with the competition in order to stop Cedric from reaching the final I thought the mishap was going to be that if Cedric had a rough start to the competition he wouldn’t want to help Harry with the egg clue and things would be thrown off that way.
I loved all the alternate universes though. Getting to see Snape again when he wasn’t mean and got to know about how he would end up being a hero was my favorite.
The whole thing about how after Cedric was embarrassed in the competition he got super angry and awful and became a Death Eater and then kiLLED NEVILLE was too much. I mean, I liked it, but liked it in a way that was more like, “THIS IS PROVOKING A LOT OF EMOTION IN ME WHICH MEANS THAT IT’S GOOD WRITING” as opposed to, “Nice.”
The one alternate universe where Albus and Harry’s relationship stayed exactly the same except Albus was in Gryffindor was kind of strange to me. Like, how in the world did messing with the past cause Albus to be sorted into a different house? Did those changes change Harry, thus affecting how he raised his son and causing Albus to grow up with different values?
I think the whole point of it was for Albus to make the realization that the fact that he and Harry didn’t get along wasn’t due to him not being in Gryffindor.
YER A GENIUS, ALBUS!
Do you mean to tell me, small child, that your father, who named you after the Slytherin headmaster and was almost sorted into Slytherin himself, doesn’t hate you, a Slytherin?
All of the arguments between Albus and Harry were so uncomfortable for me. It was like if angsty, book-five Harry as an adult was fighting angsty, book-five Harry as a child. When Harry told Albus that sometimes he wished that Albus wasn’t his son, I literally cringed.

control your emotions.gif

Jumping to the ending, because I’m out of control. Delphi always seemed kind of off to me, but that was more because I thought she was just an awkward and under-developed character with an intriguing but unexplored backstory rather than evil.
And not only evil… but VOLDEMORT AND BELLATRIX’S DAUGHTER?
I’m not kidding, at the beginning when we first hear about the rumors that Scorpius might be Voldemort’s son, I was literally thinking, “No, he can’t be, because Voldemort and Bellatrix were in love.”
I HAVE SHIPPED IT SINCE DAY ONE (read: book five, but whatever).
The thing that seemed off to me was that Delphi said that she was born right before the Battle of Hogwarts. Like, define “right before”. Was Bellatrix pregnant when she was torturing Hermione or killing Dobby? Or was the baby born a while before that when our gang is in the woods?
In that case, where’s the baby during aforementioned Hermione torture and Dobby murder? Or the Battle of Hogwarts, for that matter?
It would’ve been cool if some things in this book explained little details foreshadowed in the original stories. Obviously it couldn’t, because this book really is just an additional, unplanned thing.
Anyway, once we find out that Delphi is Voldemort’s daughter and Scorpius and Albus are trapped in time, they manage to get a message onto Harry’s baby blanket. In hindsight, it’s a good idea, but I wish we had gotten to actually see them go in and get it. You’re not supposed to make contact with your previous selves when you use time travel because it can really mess you up, so what happens if you unwrap a blanket that’s around your dad as a baby? Poor Harry was already so messed up, what happens when he stares into the eyes of his son who is more than ten years his senior?
The entire Augurey thing was so, so weird to me. Did Voldemort somehow know that he would be killed at the Battle of Hogwarts and planned to have this baby that would travel back in time and save him? I can’t think of any other reason why Voldemort would want to have a child, but that isn’t at all foreshadowed in the books, which just reminds me again that this book is more milking the franchise than finishing off the story once and for all.
Harry transfigures into Voldemort, which I didn’t even really know was possible, but it worked for the most part. It was heartbreaking to hear Delphi, whose only purpose, it seems, is to save her dad even though he will never learn to know or love her.
Even more heartbreaking was reading about Harry reliving the death of his parents and not being able to do anything about it. GAH. That was painful, but very well done. 10 points to Gryffindor.

So those are my thoughts! I could go on forever but I’ll stop there. If you’ve it this far, thank you! I hope you enjoyed what I had to say. Feel free to leave any and all of your thoughts in the comments below. You can also follow my blog and on my other social media if you feel so inclined.
Thanks for reading! 🙂

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Random Sunday #6: No-Maj and Black Hermione?

random sundays

Hello, and happy Sunday! It’s been a good month since I made one of these posts, and awhile since I made a post in general that wasn’t a review. So hello! I hope you’re having a wonderful and safe holiday season. Do you have any snow where you live? Normally we have tons by now where I am, but we’ve been lucky (lucky according to my mom, deprived according to me) and not had any snow this winter. According to the ever-reliable weatherman, that’s all going to change tomorrow. We’ll see what happens.
So if you’re like me, you spend your weekend stalking the queen (read: J.K. Rowling) on Twitter, and you’re always looking to see when she’s going to announce that coveted eighth book. No such luck yet.
However, she is constantly confirming and pushing aside different rumors about characters and other happenings in the Harry Potter series. It’s always exciting to get new news on the series, but sometimes this new information completely conflicts with what we previously believed about the beloved books, which can be hard to accept.
The first big reveal that J.K. Rowling made (and although it wasn’t made via Twitter, it did spark a lot of drama on the Twittersphere) is that “muggle” isn’t the correct term for non-magical folk in the United States. Here in America, we refer to them as “no-maj”. WHAT? This enraged many fans – including myself – and Americans who found themselves going from muggles to no-maj would be better described as no-mad, am I right? Or… yes-mad… because they were very upset.
I tried.
I mean, come on Jo. If we can’t be wizards, at least let us be muggles.
Apparently the American version of the word is going to be more prominent in the film – as it takes place in New York – so maybe it will grow on us.
No-maj, however, is old news. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is going to be the eighth Harry Potter story taking place in the same time period as the epilogue of the last book, but this story is going to be in play form. The casting for the production was just released, and the reveal of the people playing Harry, Ron, and Hermione caused some ripples on Twitter.
harry cursed childEveryone was shocked that the play would feature a “black Hermione”, because that’s not the way she was portrayed in the books, movies, or illustrated editions of the books. It was especially shocking because J.K. Rowling allegedly played a large role in the casting of the play.
A fan tweeted about wanting to know how J.K. Rowling felt about the casting of Hermione, and Rowling replied saying, “Canon: brown eyes, frizzy hair, and very clever. White skin was never specified. Rowling loves black Hermione.”
The legions of Harry Potter fans that were shocked by this went to investigate, and many people were quick to quote a line from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban that reads, “Hermione’s white face was sticking out from behind a tree.”
Another Twitterer quoted Rowling’s tweet about her thoughts on the casting, saying, “Would have been useful [if] you mentioned that before the casting for the movies was made.”, to which Jo replied, “Writers. Don’t. Cast. Movies. Ask. John. Green.”
It’s kind of unclear if this was how J.K. Rowling always pictured Hermione, or if she’s just encouraging people to picture her how they want to and be open to new interpretations of her character’s appearance.
In new adaptations of books, things can’t always be exactly how we imagined them. Can we talk about the fact that for the movies, Peeves went from being a semi-transparent ghost to be so invisible that he wasn’t included in the films at all? Noma Dumezweni wouldn’t have been casted if she wasn’t going to make a fantastic Hermione, and I’m sure the play won’t disappoint.


So what are all of your thoughts on this? Like every piece of Harry Potter news, it just makes me want to reread the books again. Leave all of your thoughts in the comments!
It feels kind of weird that this Random Sunday actually stuck to one main topic. I was thinking about saving this for a “What’s Up Wednesday” post, but I thought it was interesting enough to have its own post dedicated to it.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and thanks for reading! 🙂
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Waiting on Wednesday – October 7, 2015

waiting on wednesday

Since school has started I’ve begun to realize how much I dislike Wednesdays… it seems like every other day of the week has some sort of good to it except for Wednesday. If it’s Monday, at least you’re getting Monday over with. If it’s Tuesday, you can be happy that you got through Monday. Thursday is Friday Eve, and Friday is Friday. What’s Wednesday? Friday Eve Eve? I mean, yeah, you’re halfway through the work week, but what’s that telling you? Hey, you’ve come so far to reach the halfway point! Now you have to do it all again before you actually reach the end.
Sooo anyway, sorry for that rant-y beginning. I guess I can’t really help it considering that it’s practically time for a “Thursday Thoughts” post by now. I meant to make this last night and then post it this morning, but I got wrapped up in starting my latest read, Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult. If you’ve read my review for The Storyteller you know exactly how I feel about her books so it was pretty hard to stop.
Enough blabbering. Today (tonight) I’m going to be sharing with you a book that I’m really anticipating the release of as part of the weekly meme “Waiting on Wednesday” hosted by Breaking the Spine. Here we go:

kill the boy band by goldy moldavsky

From debut author Goldy Moldavsky, the story of four superfan friends whose devotion to their favorite boy band has darkly comical and murderous results.
Okay, so just know from the start that it wasn’t supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near The Ruperts, our favorite boy band.
We didn’t mean to kidnap one of the guys. It kind of, sort of happened that way. But now he’s tied up in our hotel room. And the worst part of all, it’s Rupert P. All four members of The Ruperts might have the same first name, but they couldn’t be more different. And Rupert P. is the biggest flop out of the whole group.
We didn’t mean to hold hostage a member of The Ruperts, I swear. At least, I didn’t. We are fans. Okay, superfans who spend all of our free time tweeting about the boys and updating our fan tumblrs. But so what, that’s what you do when you love a group so much it hurts.
How did it get this far? Who knows. I mean midterms are coming up. I really do not have time to go to hell.

Release: February 23, 2016 by Scholastic, Inc.
Details: Stand-alone(?) YA contemporary
Pages: 320
Barnes and Noble          Amazon          Goodreads          IndieBound

Oh my goodness, this book. I first heard about it a couple months ago when all of the Booktubers were coming home with their BEA book hauls. Obviously after BEA all Booktubers and bloggers have a huge amount of books with them, because why wouldn’t you want to bring a ton of free books home? Because they have so many books and they don’t want to make their book haul hours long, they usually fly through the books pretty quickly, which can make it hard for books to stand out.
Not this one.
Immediately when I heard the synopsis of this book I knew that it was a book that I needed to read. I was devastated when I heard how long I was going to have to wait to get my hands on a copy now that I knew about it (and now you have to wait too!).
What’s not to love about a book like this? The early reviews are fantastic, it’s the author’s debut novel, the premise sounds hysterical, and it’s told from the perspective of fangirls. Just imagine that – we’re used to the 140 character bursts of excitement from fellow fangirls… this is an entire book.
Not only that, but the entire idea of “accidentally kidnapping someone” sounds like it’s going to make for one heck of a book. I have no idea what will go down in this story, but I can’t wait to find out.
(Plus, the title really intrigues me. Like, the synopsis talks about kidnapping, but the the name of the book escalates it to killing… what’s going on there?)

waiting on wednesday

Wait a second… I know what you’re thinking. Why is there another Waiting on Wednesday banner all of a sudden? Is Audrey a forgetful mess who doesn’t realize that she already used this poorly made heading at the beginning of the post? (I mean, you’re right on the first part…) Is she trying to be artsy? (Look at my Instagram feed. I’ve given up) Is she making a rant-y part two to this Waiting on Wednesday as if she hasn’t already ranted enough in this post? (Wow, what a surprisingly accurate prediction)

HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE: THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION BY J.K. ROWLING

For the first time, J. K. Rowling’s beloved Harry Potter books will be presented in lavishly illustrated full-color editions. Kate Greenaway-award winning artist Jim Kay has created over 100 stunning illustrations, making this deluxe format a perfect gift as much for a child being introduced to the series, as for the dedicated fan. Book one, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, is publishing on October 6, 2015.
 Harry Potter has never been the star of a Quidditch team, scoring points while riding a broom far above the ground. He knows no spells, has never helped to hatch a dragon, and has never worn a cloak of invisibility.
 All he knows is a miserable life with the Dursleys, his horrible aunt and uncle, and their abominable son, Dudley — a great big swollen spoiled bully. Harry’s room is a tiny closet at the foot of the stairs, and he hasn’t had a birthday party in eleven years.
 But all that is about to change when a mysterious letter arrives by owl messenger: a letter with an invitation to an incredible place that Harry — and anyone who reads about him — will find unforgettable.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: But Audrey, it says in the synopsis, “publishing on October 6, 2015. Why are you still waiting? I mean, maybe you’re thinking, Wait, you expected me to actually read the synopsis for Harry Potter? You think I don’t know what it’s about? But for the sake of this post we’re going to pretend you were thinking the first one.
Great question, dear reader! I was wondering the same thing. You see, I pre-ordered this wonderful book and it’s not here. It’s almost two days later! And I know that this is a complete first world problem, and I would like to take this time to note that this isn’t the end of the world and you don’t need to pity me because I’ll get it eventually…
But it hasn’t even shipped! What’s the point of pre-ordering if I’m not getting the book until a week or two after the release date? I mean, I know little to nothing about how shipping and online shopping works unless it’s on BookOutlet, so this issue is probably something that I caused with my own wrong option selections in the check-out or something. Or something. Or Amazon’s entire purpose is to make my life significantly less happy (but not miserable because, again, it’s not the end of the world).
Sigh. 


So that was a rant-y and weird and fun Waiting on Wednesday! It’s almost not even Wednesday at this point where I live, but I was determined to make a post because I love posting and hearing from you guys. In the comments, feel free to let me know if you’re anticipating Kill the Boy Band or if you’re happily enjoying your illustrated edition of Harry Potter which hopefully arrived on time. Also feel free to let me know if it’s already Thursday in your country or state or wherever you are and yell at me for not posting this sooner. 😉
I hope you have a wonderful rest of your Friday Eve Eve or Friday Eve depending where you are!
Thanks for reading! 🙂

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Hermione Reviews – Hogwarts: A History

**DO NOT READ: if you haven’t yet finished the Harry Potter series and are hoping to avoid spoilers**

http://www.hermioreads.wordpress.wizHermioneGranger

Meet the Author!

Hermione Granger Weasley is a girl wizard extroadinaire known for her love of books and extreme intelligence (not to mention good looks).  Her friends affectionately call her a “nerd” but she knows that her intelligence will get her far in life. Her most notable achievements include the extensive amount of points she earned for Gryffindor whilst attending Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry and her help in the ultimate defeat of Lord Voldemort.  Now that she’s settled down with her husband, Ron, and their children she’s decided to take it upon herself to share her extensive knowledge with the world and her love for books.  She hopes that with this blog you’ll get insight to some of the best books in the wizarding world and get to read her opinions on matters like: Do you prefer bookshelves or floating spells? and, Which is better, the fresh start in the begging of a series or the excitement of se-quills?  She’ll also be reviewing some of her favorite books from when she was younger and her current reads!

Review for Hogwarts: A History

Hello everyone and thank you for checking out my first blog post!  It’s taken a while for me to get this blog up and running because my father-in-law is absolutely obsessed with anything Muggle related, and the internet is no exception!  He insists that I refrain from doing anything unless he’s able to come and watch all of the “excitement”. Hopefully this blog will be even more active once the Quidditch World Cup excitement has died down and he’s not running around, portkey-ing to games all the time.

Continue Reading ->

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able too read very much as of late due to Rose and Hugo practicing their new spells all the time… I’m so worried they’ll light the pages on fire that I don’t often keep books in the house.  Oh, well.  I figure it’s better they got a start now… God forbid they turn out as hopeless as their father.

Because of all of this, I thought it would be fun to review one of my childhood favorites.  It’s called “Hogwarts: A History” by Bathilda Bagshot.  It’s non-fiction, and is an incredibly insightful guide into the rich history and stories of my beloved school.  You’ll learn all about the “legends” (some of which proved to be true), hidden rooms, and fun facts.  For example, Muggle technology doesn’t work inside the Hogwarts grounds which means – sadly for you – you won’t be able to keep up with this little blog once inside!

Don’t be reluctant to pick up this book just because my husband has been very vocal in the media about his dislike for it.  Let me tell you, that man has the reading range of a teaspoon.  He won’t read anything that isn’t “exciting” enough for him, but after all of our adventures nothing really is.  If I’m lucky, our kids will prove to have my reading tastes.

This is a pretty thick book, but at the end I want to read even more!  I wish there was a Hogwarts: A History 2… Now that’s a book I Hermio-need in my life!

Five Wands Out of Five

Acci-yo-yo-yo, peace out my friends!

No… Ron was right.  That did sound stupid.

Happy reading! ❤ I hope your next book is spellbinding.

xx Hermione


So… that was interesting.  This post was inspired by an upcoming Top Ten Tuesday theme, “Ten Characters Who Are Fellow Book Nerds”.  The first one that came to mind, obviously, was Hermione (and she was actually only one of three that came to mind, so I might not end up participating in that particular TTT), which got me thinking.  What if Hermione was a fellow book nerd to the point that she wanted to have a book blog too?  What books would she review, and what would she say?  And thus… this was born.  I don’t really know what this is.  It’s kind of like individual cosplay, I suppose.  Anyway, this is today’s

storytime saturday

(sorry, just wanted to show off the new header) and, coincidentally, happens to be the second Harry Potter themed one.  If you’ve caught on to the pattern of these posts: there isn’t one.  They’re not really stories, I guess, but rather personal experiences and rants and then creative writing that is solely my own or is parodies/extensions of already created work.  I don’t know what exactly I’m going to do with this series, so I’d love to hear what you liked reading the best out of the three posts I’ve done so far: the story/parody of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone ft. My Dog, the personal story/rant about spoilers, or this blog post that was told from a fictional POV.

Acci-yo-yo-yo, peace out my friends! 😉

And, because it would feel wrong to not end my post like this:

Thanks for reading 🙂

Hairy Potter and the Sorcerer’s Bone (Storytime #1)

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Hairy Potter and the Sorcerer’s Bone

Mr. and Mrs. Purrrrrsley of Number 4, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.  They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold for such nonsense.

The Purrrrsleys had everything that could ever want, but they also had a secret.  Their biggest fear was that someone would find out about Hairy… Pet-unia’s sister’s son.  No one knew that the skinny, odd-animal with an unusual scar and askew glasses wasn’t a respectable cat like the Purrrrsleys, he was a dog.  A disgusting, horrible dog, and ungrateful too!  How lucky was he that they gave him a nice cupboard under the stars to live in while dealing with the risk of him having a bad influence on their precious son?

Hairy was grateful though. He thought it was very generous that the Purrrrsleys were allowing him to attend Pugley’s birthday party at the zoo, and then he realized it was probably only because they were hoping he would get trapped in one of the cages and get left behind.  Sometimes Hairy wondered why the Purrrrsleys named their son Pugley when all cats – like Hairy and the Purrrrsleys – were supposed to hate dogs.  He came to the conclusion that the Purrrrsleys wanted to name their son something that described him, but didn’t want to just name him “Ugly” so they added a ‘P’.

When they arrived at the zoo, Hairy was already extremely irritated with Pugley.  Pugley was being his usual horrible self: teasing Hairy about wagging his tail and irritating the zoo animals.  He always made fun of Hairy when he wagged his tail, but it wasn’t his fault – he automatically did it when he was happy!  Pugley thought it was weird because no one else in the Purrrrsley family wagged their tails. It usually didn’t matter too much – when Hairy was with the Purrrrsleys he never felt like wagging his tail.

As for the animals, Pugley was clawing and the snake cage with Hairy standing by, cringing at the scraping noise it made.  Pugley’s claws were always extra sharp because he was much too lazy to use his scratching post, although he demanded that he receive one for his birthday.

Mr. and Mrs. Purrrrsley were trying to take a picture of the two boys.

“Say ‘tuna’!”  Mrs. Purrrsley cooed to Pugley.

Hairy cringed. Tuna. Blegh. Mr. Purrrrsley noticed his expression and hissed.

Eventually the picture was dropped altogether… literally.  It’s really hard to hold onto a camera when you don’t have thumbs.

Hairy looked over at the snake, who looked like he wanted to cover his ears with his hands.  You know, if he had hands.

“Woof!” Hairy said in sympathy.

Woof, woof,” the snake responded, glad that someone felt his pain.

Hairy was amazed! This snake spoke his language!  Quickly, he devised a plan.

“Woof, woof woof woof woof Pugley woof woof,” Hairy whispered through the glass.

“Woooooof,” nodded the snake in understanding.

“Woof woof, woof?” Hairy asked, and the snake laughed.  That Hairy sure had a sense of humor, don’t you think?

Before Pugley could react, the snake reared back its head and smashed it into the glass, causing Pugley to jumped back in horror.  He tried to run away, but his sharp claws on the wood floor caused him to skid around like crazy.  Soon the snake had caught up to him and wrapped itself around Pugley’s trembling body.  Right when Pugley was using his last breath to meow for mercy the snake released him, slithering back into his cage.

The Purrrrsley parents only needed to take one look at the satisfied look on Hairy’s face to know who was responsible.

“You’ll be lucky if you get out from under there before Pugley’s 18th birthday party!”  Mr. Purrrrsley screamed, slamming the door shut on his cupboard under the stairs when they returned home.

He sighed, resting his head on the lone, ratty pillow the Purrrrsleys had provided him.  For Hairy, the dog in disguise as a cat (who didn’t yet know he was a dog), life was pretty ruff.


So right now you’re probably thinking, What the heck was that? Funnily enough, I’m asking myself the same question.  Normally I’ll do “Storytime Saturday” on Saturdays, but as it was the Fourth of July yesterday I was pretty busy and didn’t have time, so… here it is!  Happy Sunday.

That was my dog in the picture up above.  This story came from when I was trying to pick him up so he would read with me and he started growling because he’s a brat.  My mom told me to leave him alone but I attempted to convince her that he was just purring, not growling, which is when she reminded me that he was a dog, and not a cat.  And that’s when inspiration struck.  (Don’t question it)

Obviously the basic idea creds of this little story all go to the wonderful J.K. Rowling.  I just thought it might be fun to do a little parody of the best series out there.  If you didn’t really get it, it was basically a parody of the first couple chapters of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”.  In this version, cats were muggles and dogs were wizards.  (Sorry to all the cat people out there).

I promise my dog was not harmed in the making of that picture.  He slept through pretty much all of it.  He was also fully compensated later that day when I was making mac and cheese and – in my eagerness to add in the cheese so I could finally eat it – cheese exploded all over the kitchen.  Christmas came early for Wrigley (no, his real name isn’t Hairy Potter. #missedopportunity)

So yeah, this was kind of random.  I’d love to hear what you thought about it in the comments.  Thanks for reading! 🙂